11th Aug

11th August

The kids at the Dophil Hospital are going to kill me. I am so in love with everyone of them. Today three sisters and a boy pulled at my heart strings. One of the sisters -7 years had malaria was really unwell and really subdued in bed. The other two were 10 and 1 and were there with mum. Sharon was so cute, her little dark black face was so cute against the white of the blanket keeping her warm. She was so tired, and ill and just kept looking at me trying to work out who I was. I coulnt help myself and sat with her in my arms, in which she was really comfortable , it was like she was my little sister. Anyhow, as i tried to remove her and continue with my rounds, she would’nt let go of me and i had to un grip her and lay her back down as she cried silently -man alive I had to hold back tears.
Then there was this other baby, whos aunty was in for suspected torsion of ovarian cyst (my differential –yay). This baby was so cute so bloody cute. I picked her up to say hi (here in Kenya women present you with their children as if you are an English god or something) anyhow, me and this baby instantly bonded like I was her mummy, and when I motioned to give her back to her mother, lord god she screamed, and kept screaming until I picked her up again! This happened three more times and so I had to carry her about for half an hour or so, until she remembered and missed her mum -lol.
As one of the medical officers and I were chilling in the sun, a young boy comes and sits with me, then takes my hand and nestles his head in my chest. Lol. So cute. I let him sit in my lap for a while. Strange, these kids are not really given affection at home (despite their parents loving them to bits) but seem to know that I will dish out lots of loving and seek it from me. Its so funny to watch them squirm when I kiss them on the cheek, but after a few times they laugh and let me. Aah I love children!
These children do so much, at the end of today, the older sister of the girl with malaria, was told to walk home with some bags. I saw the girl leave the hospital, and because we were going the same way, I took her bags, held her hand and we sang the alphabet as we walked in the blazing Kenyan sun. Naively I thought that this kid was walking a few meters home. WE WALKED 2 MILES! To this girls house!. This girl would have had to walk 2 miles with two heavy bags (one placed on her head) shizzle, this expectation of children is common place here, and again I felt a twang of guilt as I thought about my behaviors in London and how much I just don’t really appreciate what I have. Argh.

Saw a young girl whose genitals were ravaged with STIS today, I think I identified at least three separate STIS one of which being sphillius sad times as she would only let me examine her and it turns out that she had been married for two yrs and only in the last 2 months had she had symptoms. Clearly her husband is cheating, as she denied being unfaithful and I suspected that she may be positive for HIV. Sad outcome again, she didn’t have the money for treatment and so she left the hospital.

Ive made headway with the staff! After dropping of the girl, i walked home with, the receptionist and one of the nurses caught up with me and we walked some of the way home together. We laughed and joked and it was nice. They told me about their home-life and I described London to them.

Oh yeah, we had people at out window again last night. I am no longer scared ya know, im angry. If they are thieves wanting to break into the house, im ready, seriously, I have my swiss army knife by my pillow and keara and I have decided to surprise them and take their picture for identification. If I find out that its one of the village men, i will be fuming. I will make sure the police go hard on them, seriously, the number of patients who ive seen at the hospotal who have been attacked by these ‘thieves’ usually, drunk good for nothing waste of spaces upsets me. Poor people stealing from poor people, pisses me off.

I am ready thou, fuck being scared.